Monday, October 31, 2005
haven't been blogging for quite some time.ohwells. may be transferring to POA.hopefully its much better than art although it involves MATH. i have to work doubly hard. time to let go np by not taking the 'lead role but the passive role'. its hard telling my parents tt this camp wld be my last thing i am leading.it seem that they cant wait for me shake everything off frm np. i will,jus let me go through this last shot i am done with leading.
went to ps yamaha cos weiwen they all needed to pay the fees for their drums and electric guitar lesson. darn, i wish i cld join in. jus dying to learn both. saw the drum lesson gng on,really had the temptation in joining but i suppose my parents wld definetly object to it.sighh. though i have the urge to tell them i will prove them i am sure to do it next year,its hard telling them right at the moment. even if i said so, they wld doubt cos i haven been showing them for the past 15 years.
rahh,its just so bothering being not able.=(
went to hq next to collect the obsabah form.cheryl is jus so particular!!!commenting so much on everything she sees. and getting angry cos i did not make a fren! rather eh.
dammit,i am getting sick.have been coughing the whole day.my throat jus freaking itch.
RODE;
Friday, October 28, 2005
HEY! why aren't u blogging? okay, anyway, im here to blog for you even though you didnt ask! how nice of me eh. hahaha! alright, kidding. lets see, i dont know when's the NEXT TIME im gonna see you. ): but anyway, please please please study during the holidays okay? prepare for next year! ((: hmm, yupp, so take care yes? all your many many camps and stuff during the hols. oh wells. im gonna miss you! (: yupp. god bless you and take care loads! ((:
LOVE!
me. (:
RODE;
Thursday, October 20, 2005
these 2days have been depressing. it was one that i cldn't hold myself but to break down.results out,the final say its decided.i knew it wld happen. failure has taken over me.i am defeated for this time.ms koh spoke to me twice abt it.i was beyond hope now.
had interclass games today.volleyball again. first round went thru, it was all okay.we won,when it came to next round..was told to go check results.heard 4 were retaining.frm the moment i heard it,i was already prepared this was hitting hard on me.i was expecting it to come somehw.our team cldn't take it ,faces on us change,we weren't in the mood for anything.losing or winning wasn't in our minds.we were jus seriously scared of the outcome.in the end,we din manage to finish the game,stopped the game cos we simply cldn't play.the b1 team players started talking to us.they were really nice=)
went to see my results,the final verdict was out. cldn't help but cried upon hearing that i was gonna retain. its really hard accepting it esp right at the time it was confirmed.
ques aftr ques started coming through my head,the consequences..the embarassment i am gonna face,teachers.family.friends.relatives..its the main thing i am worried of. having to have another year to brush everything up,i dont mind cos i really need the time to catch up everything,its jus the reality to face the ppl out there. the society.
but all this have to happen at the end.i rem ms koh telling me'failure now,isn't failure to life'. i think its true.
this have really woken me up somehw. and i really gonna work real hard to prove all I CAN DO IT and really show some results.
she made me speak to ms teo. i seriously think she is a really good listener.she made me felt better.by the time i went back to class,they were wondering why do i look so happy.thats me!haha. of cos the pain inside was still there. suppose all these have to take time for me to get through and thorough in my mind.
still i have to thank the LORD for this.cos these are the plans that GOD has given me.=)
of cos never wld i forget those who comforted me today!
- 3B1 team1 peeps and some of the people in that class!=)
-DEAREST!
-MY CLASS!
-MS TEO
dad jus spoke to me,and thru it i realised all the time they have been trying to give me the best.even nw they knowing me retaining,they nvr gave up on me for that,but asked me to strive harder and do it well.Sacrifice was the main thing he wanted me to take.he knew it was painful for me,he told me. but as ms teo said,all these doesn't come easy,it takes hard work. not forgetting dad telling me hw courageous mum is,that made me cry being real inspired by her.
-my parents will always rockk in my life.-
RODE;
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
had interclass volleyball today. at first was feeling alright. but soon i totally lost everything.esp the last game.its not the opponents i am really affected but something else. i jus cldn't bring myself to get angry with others to shut up.pfft.
i can nvr forget the last service i brought the team dwn.its a total waste. still,i wanna tell my team mates ,u all DID WELL!! =)) D1!!! [mel.birdie.wen.sihui.evan]=))
i wan to thank the class too and even d2 giving those support all the way.u all rock TOTALLY.
jus hope the upcoming interhse will at least make me happier for me to bring home something.
results will be out tmr,i am scared.real scared. i can't say i am prepared for the worst cos i dont think i can bring myself to see what i got. i am really hoping.
GOD I REALLY NEED YOU ESP AT THIS POINT OF TIME.I PRAY YOU WILL GIVE ME THE WISDOM,STRENGTH AND PASSION TO GO THROUGH AT THAT PERIOD.I ALSO WANT TO PRAY THAT YOU WLD TAKE AWAY THE FEAR I'VE GOT AND THAT I WILL BE ABLE TO FACE AND ACCEPT WHAT LIES IN FRONT OF ME.AMEN.
RODE;
Saturday, October 15, 2005
went for sailing today.back frm the 2 weeks break frm exam.good thing i still rem hw to wrig up the boat.heh.i am getting better at it!=) din eat breakfast and lunch so end up eating at the club.was afraid i din have enough time to digest my food b4 gng out sea.anw,briefing jeremy wanted to spot check our logbooks.of all trngs,it needed to be today.i din bring it!cos i dont see a point in bringing as we dont record everything on the spot. end up having to down20 for him.damn.
went out sea sail all the way to KETA then back ,twice. 2nd time,sailed even further. hand was aching like crazy cos the aches haven gone since i last played badminton on thurs.cld jus feel the strain there esp when grabbing the main sheet while hiking. PAIN arr.
back shore,jeremy said the next trng we gonna combine classes with the HP class cos its gonna be selection day for us who will be going in there. ahh!! and its sat! darn.darn.darn. realise there is so much stuff gng on tt day. first,i am in with my mum in the trialthon then HP selection then cheryl's and mel's b'day celebration. how? how? how?the trialthon it doesn't really affect cos its in the morning ,jus that i will be drained. sailing is the main thing.intended to miss it for next sat trng but there will be uncle tony's class selection!and its like hard to get in? lastly,the birthday. i am seriously in a dilemma. HELP.
-iamAllaboutYOU-
when u are in deep doubts about it,bear in mind that those are the moments which i love you more than anything else.=)
RODE;
Thursday, October 13, 2005
had sch's founders' day celebration today.was one of the goh ppl,the first dry run was badd for me! i totally forgot to salute! damn.u nvr know hw embarassing it was,in front so many ppl.but fortunately it was jus a dry run.aftr it gb,np,st john and band went up forth floor to settle dwn.seeing thru the big glass windows.aftr it,went home. see hw good i am.heh.
-it just wasn't my day today.sighhs.-
iamnotworthany
RODE;
Monday, October 10, 2005
done with the 2nd last paper!!whoo!had chem.din even study it at all. though i was bringing my ten-yr series ard wherever i go ystd.cos went to fetch my mum frm dragonboat race at bedok reservoir.the supercup finals was exciting,esp ntu and nus ..super close the timing.bought the sava sprint shirt..=))
anws,was studying there but nth cld get into my brains.even if it did,the next moment its not in my head anymore.rahh.went with the whole team for dinner at downtown.was reading my notes agn while waiting for the food to come.haa.
todae the class was rather excited for the paper to be over cos it meant that we are sort of done! the last day was art.there isn't anything to study for art but jus research!hate it.quickly ask all the ques frm celina abt chem.think if i din ask her i wld be more than dead cos some of the stuff she told really came out! thanks celina!=)
went home next.
i just wish i could ever have the power to read your mind.
-iloveyou-
RODE;
Friday, October 07, 2005
math paper was bad..and i mean real badd.it was total crap.i left almost half of it blank in both paper1&2. HOW GREAT.class was complaining and whining abt it. cos it was really DIFFICULT. jus so prepared for the worst. passing it wld be the most miraculos thing that wld be happening for me.haa.finally got over a week's exam.felt the great relieve but there is still the worries for the results.sighh.
now its left with chem and art.
art research is K-I-L-L-I-N-G me. thats what i hate most,research.rahh.
-jus love my darling to the core=)-
RODE;
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
chi paper todayy.i seriously don't see the point in learning for it.i thought i was the only one thinking abt it but it seems my whole class agrees with seeing no point to learn for it. and i am happy for it!cos they strike off the part where i hate most!!regretted not revising my maths. i suppose its a sure die die thing for math paper.sighh.
overall,i find chi paper alrite.note that its the first time i ever said that for CHINESE.jus hope i pass it=)
6down 3more to go
for what i have done that made you scared/angry/fustrated,i am sorry.i just wanted to know what was your own view about it and nothing else.but it seems that i don't get to hear it.you promised to tell me stuff that you were troubled about but i did not get any.honestly, i really wanna help. i don't favour anyone,as long as they come to me and ask,i will try to help.there isn't any intentions on siding neither party,i simply just hope everything would become better. irregardless of your impression that i siding,there isn't any reason that i would change my mind and leave you.and its because i still feel for you.really.i am sorry.
RODE;
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
had bio paper.i totally regret and hate myself for what i am. i shldn't have slack the whole time.saw the paper,i've seen most of the ques b4 but i jus cldn't think of the ans.damn. the paper was actually easier IF i did studied better.pfft.the headache never left frm the start of the paper.i dare not say i am sure to fail cos telling myself that is jus as the same as telling myself its gone case.
now i will jus hope and pray.
5down, 4more to go.
RODE;
Sunday, October 02, 2005
got over geog and lit paper, screwed both up.totally.geog my mind went blank.i forgotten hw to do the map reading and the definition of tertiary industry.pfft. lit,i wrote complete crap for the sectionA to the extent of creating my own storyline.sighh.
thanks darling for the cheering up.it realli worked=) take care.
regardless of anything, i will.=)
RODE;
HEY SEETOH SUYING!! Study hard alright? (: You're done with 2 papers already, the rest will pass really quickly. So don't waste any time and study real hard now okay! ((: Take care. I'll keep you in my prayers. God bless you.
`MUCHMISSESANDLOVES. (:
ME. (: Haha.
RODE;
